Dear Friends in Real Life (Particuarly Those In Houston), I've probably told you before how strange Alexandria can be. I've probably said something like, "Rebecca Wells' novels only tell a fraction of the story." When I moved away for college, I felt like I needed to get away, and I thought I'd never come back. There just aren't a lot of young people here, and there's a good reason for that. You guys know me as Lamar, but in Alexandria, I have to call myself "Lamar White, Jr." It confuses people when I introduce myself as "Lamar White." They say things like, "I used to know someone named Lamar White, but he died a few years ago." And then I have to clarify myself. "Yes, I am his first born son. Same guy." And then we're forced into an awkward conversation about my father's death, and often it's uncomfortable for me. It saves me the effort when I just add the J and the R to my name. You guys know something about my father. I've told you about his death, how I thought he was destined to die young, and how he struggled with addiction. To you, my friends, I am open about this. I have nothing to hide. My father will always be a part of me, and I proud of that. You probably don't know that my father was fairly well-known in Alexandria. It's a small town, nothing like Houston, and my family's been in real estate here for over seventy years. You guys also know who I am. You know that I was born with a physical disability, that I spent a majority of my childhood in and out of hospitals (and that because my parents and grandparents constantly pushed me to succeed (to consider myself "normal"), I now drive a car, live on my own, and travel by myself, which I am told is remarkable considering my disability). At first, when you met me, you probably couldn't help but see the disability, but in time, the more we got to know one another, the less it mattered. In the blogosphere, I am just words on a computer. People have heard of me because of my family, and as a result, people have made assumptions about the type of person I must be. It may seem strange to you. Many of you were born and raised in big cities, and people just don't treat you the same there. Sure, class warfare and racism exist, but rarely is it on an individual level. To my friends from Rice, I have learned that these are not just abstract problems that we address in rhetorical language; they're real. They affect people. I want to share with you a comment that was written about me on another blog. Please understand that the person who wrote this does not know me, has never met me, and has no idea of the kind of person I am. He is simply making assumptions about me based on a few stories he's been told about my father's family. (Notice, by the way, that no one will speak of my mother's family, who also calls Alexandria home). Anonymous said...

Cowardly Son of a Bitch though I may be I don't sit on a throne condeming others when my own family closet is full of skeletons. Mr. Aymond admitted to the youthful mistake of joining the Klan. Let me inform you that joining the Klan is not against the law. Politically incorrect but not illegal. Another revelation may be that the use of the "N" word is not against the law. Once again politically incorrect but not illegal Junior has decried, from his lofty judgemental tower, that Mr. Aymond, due to past habits, is highly likely at anytime to don a sheet and go to burning crosses. Now let us discuss what is illegal. Driving under the influence with a blood alcohol content twice the legal limit is a violation of law. Speeding is a violation of tghe law. Lamar Sr. made two bad decisions that cost him his life. He was drunk and speeding. Had it not cost him his life Sr. could be (by Jr.'s standards) still out and about driving under the influence and placing others in harms way. So one person admits to the error of his youthful ways and life goes on. The other's family files a law suit to prevent the cause of Sr.'s death from becoming public knowledge. Those born to high places do not want their transgression open to public view but feel a birthright to condem others. What is the old adage "When you live in a glass house..." As far as personal tragedy Sr. made the personal decisions that took his life. Go look at the long black wall in D.C. and see the 50,000 plus names on it. Their families also sufferred personal tragedies but the individuals the names represent were not given the opportunity to make a decision. I may be a cowardly son of a bitch but I am not a elitist dickhead pointing out the shortcomings of the lower social levels from my lofty high society pedestal while attempting to benefit finasncially from my dealings with the City Council members and trying to cover up family baggage. Oh and if you have such a big pair why didn't you sign your name? Could it be cowardice?

To at least one person here in Alexandria, I am the Lamar White, Jr, of his imagination. By the way, friends, I have never said that Mr. Aymond is likely to begin burning crosses again. You know me, and you know that is a ridiculous statement. I invite you to visit the archives and read what I wrote about Mr. Aymond. Then, I think you should wonder whether my comments deserve the kind of treatment I have received. Think about it: Someone is using this as an opportunity to bash my late father. I know most of you never got to meet my father, but he was a wonderful, caring, and generous person. He loved his family and his community, and he worked well with everyone. When he passed away in 2001, there were 1,400 people at his funeral. No doubt, I will be grieving his death for the rest of my life. For some reason, my comments on a public official, Mr. Aymond, made someone think that they had permission to speak about my father's tragic death. Incidentally, friends, Mr. Aymond follows the Cenla Antics blog. He's signed his name on at least two posts, and I doubt he has a huge following intent on destroying those who disagree with him. In other words, I have a feeling that this person must be someone very close to Mr. Aymond. Friends, you also know that I am not rich. Although my family has money, you know that I live on less than $35,000 a year, that I live in an apartment, and that I am currently in debt because of college. You know all of this, because you know me for who I am. To those of you who learned of this blog through Facebook, please do not feel obligated to comment until you've gone back and read previous entries.

This entry was posted by Blogger, on Tuesday, May 09, 2006.